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Vulnerable Personalities and Abuse Victims
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Some Behaviours of Abused Teens

Change in eating/sleeping habits
Sudden acting out
Attention seeking and risk taking behavior
Sliding marks in school
Fear of going to school
Withdrawal
Headaches, Stomach aches
Nightmares 
Anger
Poor Concentration
Clinginess
Mood Swings
Depression
Anxiety 

 

Are You Vulnerable to Abuse?

Some people are more vulnerable than others and like the predators that they are, abusers will find vulnerable people.  It's difficult to present a list and say "Here are some typical victim behaviors", because to some people, that will imply - wrongly - that the person who is being victimized is to blame. 

It is not their fault.  They've done nothing to deserve the treatment they're getting. Women who suffer from low self esteem will blame themselves for an abusive relationship. It's a double whammy- low self esteem can set you up as a target and will keep you in an abusive relationship. 
Are you vulnerable? Here is a list of some behaviors that may indicate low self esteem.  If you compare them to the traits of an abusive person you'll see how these two personalities fit together. 

  • Compliments make you uncomfortable.
  • Accept the blame too easily.
  • Spend a lot of time apologizing.
  • Have a hard time dealing with guilt.
  • Very critical of your own mistakes, but not other people's.
  • Feel that you are supposed to be able to handle any situation, on your own.
  • Your opinions are not as important as other peoples
  • Walk looking down and often won't make eye contact with others.
  • Isolate yourself from people.
  • Lose your patience and sometimes feel angry without much reason.
  • Willing to put yourself out a great deal so that another person won't suffer even a minor inconvenience.
  • It's very difficult for you not to take criticism personally.
  • Asking for something demonstrates your selfishness.
  • Selfish is one of the worst things you can be.
  • Easily accept that the opinions and/or feelings of other people are more valid and more important than  your own.
  • You're depressed.
  • Don't like yourself, don't value yourself.
  • You draw your sense of worthiness from other people.
  • Dread confrontation and you'll agree with just about anything to avoid a fight.
  • You don't feel any sense of entitlement - to anything.
  • Can't understand people who believe that life owes them something and you might resent them. 
  • You don't deserve any credit for your accomplishments.  You were just lucky.
  • You'll let other people make all the decisions and you'll go along, even if it's not what you want.
  • Over anxious to please others.
  • Give up friends or hobbies or possessions that might be dear to you if someone else doesn't like them.
  • Accept every criticism.
  • Secretly know that the people who like you don't know what you're really like.
  • Make excuses for people who treat you badly.
  • You might take no risks at all, or you take enormous risks.
  • You might drink too much or use drugs.
  • You might tempt fate by doing dangerous things, walking alone at night in isolated places or driving too fast.
  • Parrot other people's opinions in a discussion, but don't share your own.
  • If other people treat you badly you're embarrassed but not angry.
  • Afraid of being to blame for someone else looking bad.
  • You're never at the front of a lineup because you'll let everyone in ahead of you.


 
Adapted from information found from:  The National Center for Victims of Crime,  Heart to Heart.ca,  Hidden Hurt Abuse Information and Support
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Other Reasons Women Stay

Believing it won't happen again

Raised in an abusive home

Economic Dependence

Religious or Cultural beliefs

Stays for the sake of the children

Believing that it is normal

Imature or inexperienced

Overwhelmed by power

Afraid of being hunted and hurt

Feels she is the only one who can help

Loss of status

Social pressures

Blames behaviour on alcohol or drugs 

 

 

 


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